The Crackberry Syndrome

11 Oct

“If only we had known…” This is what RIM (Research in Motion) could have said after the release of their new Blackberry PDA phone. For the technologically challenged sheep out there, a PDA (Personal Digital Assistant) is a type of cell phone, which allows you to control your life in the palm of your hand. From E-mails, to music, web-browsers and high-def cameras, that little device has it all! Not to forget of course the revolutionary introduction of the Blackberry Messenger. Reaching 12 million users in just under 8 years, one could say these guys have done pretty well for themselves. However, with popularity on the rise, the Canadian entreprise got a bit more than they could harvest. The happy chatty sheep got addicted to the fruity product and can’t un-hook anymore. “My Crackberry”, as many users now call it, is busy altering behaviours. Compared to hard drugs such as Cocaine, Heroin or even Ice, the Blackberry is taking control of our lives. What’s about to be said expresses the views of a sheep with an athletic dislike for Blackberry users and should therefore, not be taken too personally.

The Blackberry facilitates people’s lives and creates easier ways of communicating, but it doesn’t rule your life. People have become numbed by the side effects of new age technology. And yes, it does make your life easier, but does it really give you the freedom you are looking for? RIM spotted that pin location in a sheep’s mind saying “social availability” and released the Blackberry Messenger. It has radically changed the way sheep text each other, and has caused these users to become reachable 24/7. K, that’s pretty cool , but who controls who now? I know a lot of users, and it kinda scares me when I hear some of them say that they literally only live for their Blackberry. Of course, the services provided by these phones are super practical and all, but to think that you can’t live with a phone, is actually quite scary. It seems like people these days are living their lives in a world where social acceptance is of highest importance. Maybe they just forgot that before cellphones were invented, people were living very happy lives. I would like to remind these thumb-clicking junkies, that taking a break from you BBM won’t necessary kill you, and that you might actually start enjoying it. So turn your phone off, just for an hour, and remember that a Blackberry is, just a fruit.




Here a link to a forum started by true Blackberry addicts:




Talk Shows – misleading shepherd? or misled sheep?

8 Oct

They say that the United States of America is a land of opportunity. They call it the place where all your dreams come true and tell stories of free spirited people who lead the lives they want to live. Simply, because they can. All in all, this sounds like a pretty cool way to live life. But is this vision of freedom still valid today, or was it lost somewhere between the first release of “reality” shows and the Patriot’s act? Are the American people still as free as they make out to be? or have they become sheep to the media, where following misinformation has become alot easier than acting on your own thoughts?

An interesting phenomenon regarding this matter is the The Jerry Springer Show. Basically, messed up people with family issues come on stage and share their problems with the audience. The host (Jerry Springer) and the audience will then offer suggestions in order to resolve this troubling situation. If only things were that simple. What happens during the show is actually a little bit more dramatic. As the pressure builds, family members start throwing insults, and in almost every case, end up bashing themselves on National television. As entertaining as this may be to the viewer, (and really, the stuff that happens on these shows is simply too ridiculous not to laugh at) it’s kinda concerning to see that “Proudly American” people will volontarly expose their issues and humiliate themselves in such a public manner. People that watch these shows are just laughing at them because of how silly they act. I mean, what happened to self respect? If you’ve got family issues, and pratically everybody has some, why go to a TV show to confront your next of kin? Do these people actually believe that by smacking your child on TV, those problems will resolve? I think that the American sheep have trapped themselves in their own century old dreams.

Really now, are these Talk shows really helping the American people? or are they just looping them into a system where its better to be famous than have decent moral values? Frankly, what these guys do with their lives doesn’t fase me too much, as long as they don’t come tell ME how to live.

Here’s a clip from The Jerry Springer show where mother and daughter let loose at each other. Enjoy!

Where’s my money?

6 Oct

I was strolling around the News24 website today and strumpled apon what could possibly be the smartest way to make free cash. This example is probably what makes the British people so special. Britain’s National Health Institute (NHS) has been suggested with a new way on how to approach the ever growing issue of fatties. Their solution, pay the fuckers! If people don’t want to lose weight by themselves, then maybe, if they get payed to do so, things might change. The money used to motivate these sheep of ample proportion would of course come straight from the taxpayer’s wallet, meaning skinnys pay for fattys to get in shape. mmmmmmmmh….The notion of a pound for a pound didn’t sit too well with the parents of piglets, so this group (no one knows who they are) have suggested that kids should be given toys instead of cash as they might spend that money on sweets….and get fat again! (Kids are smarter than parents think). This really makes me wonder on how fucked up people are these days. I mean, thats one way to look at the problem, but that doesn’t really solve the initial cause of obesity. Why are these kids fat in the first place? and who is this “group” suggesting a payout for a workout? My guess is that this “group” is actually a bunch of fatties who have found a way to make cash by staying potbellied. Talk about chewing the fat, these guys have it sassed out!

One thing still bothers me though, and its what do the common sheep like us get out of it? Are the large really the victims of society? or is being fat just an excuse for having other people do the job for you?

Talks are currently being held at the National Health Institute (NHI) on wether to impliment this law in South Africa as we also have our FET sheep community. So next time the taxpayer knocks on your front door, make sure to ask who your moola’s going to, unless of course, your the one receiving it…

Be the voluptious sheep you know you can be 😉

Mr. Fatchewer

A sheep turned Zef

5 Oct

Hello fellow sheep,

I’d like to share with you the first comment made regarding The Sheep’s Wool. It was posted by a sheep who’s intentions are to turn shiny things into turds. Interesting stuff.  I’ll let you decide wether you think it’s worth your wool.

“And as the subject of your blog is mostly that of getting back in touch with reality and not being a sheep and that we are victims of our environments and slaves to the media, surely you’d understand the irony of the zef culture that has developed post-die antwoord and post-jack parow. Yo-landi did make metallic leggings cool in South Africa unfortunately as sheep do they followed.”

For all these ignorant sheep who haven’t heard about Die Antwoord yet, here’s a link to their site.

Chew up sheeps!

– Mr. Fatchewer

Time to chew the fat

4 Oct

The sheep’s wool is here to remind all sheep of modern society that they have a choice on how they want to live their lives. The dark ages are over and it’s about time people realized that they are letting themselves get controlled by their environment. Yes, I’m talking about the emo kids with their black make-up. But also their mothers who have made it their life purpose to gossip about what colour dress Teri Hatcher wore on the last episode of Desperate Housewives. The slaves of media. The cattle who walk themselves to the abattoir without really knowing why. The Facebook junky. The fat kid who’d rather spend his life behind a computer because reality is just too hard to cope with. These ignorant fools who when they hear jump, jump twice to make sure they don’t get judged. People have become so disconnected to real life that they are ready to do anything simply because they have to told to do so. This blog is about letting the sheep loose. So take your wool back from the shepherd and assemble, it’s time to chew some fat!